Tomorrow is the autumnal equinox, and Mabon, for the Wiccan. A day of giving thanks and celebrating the bounty of the year. A day for balance and shifting toward winter and 'rest.'

It wouldn't be a proper bounteous thanksgiving without thanks. I have had a blessed year, for all the change and discomfort. I am most thankful for:

* my kids- awesomeness with legs.
* my family and friends- I could not be who I am, and happy who I am, without you. You are the earth that keeps my feet on the ground AND the moon that keeps my eyes lifted upward.
* my job- I get paid to ask questions, learn, and manifest solutions to problems. Nothing better than that.
* the opportunities for growth I've been offered-- and the courage to be crazy enough to take them. For details, see bullets 1-3. :)

Gracias, and blessings for continued fruitfulness and a little rest this winter.

Tonight’s moon is the Buck moon, when the horns of the young male deer break through. Having very little connection to deer (my power animals eat deer, but that’s about as close as I come), I really couldn’t connect this moon to my life right now. I am female and have been an adult for a while- what do I care about the awkward teenage years of bucks?

The last card I pulled from my tarot deck last night was the Singer of Initiation, the spirit that brings us to the edge of a new phase in life and challenges us to prove we are ready to meet it. As I rolled this reading around, in relation to my current life situation, the buck began to make sense to me.

While I am not physically passing into an adolescent buck phase in my life, I am entering a new form and stage of motherhood that is completely different than anything it’s been for me before. Like the buck, I am not changing who I am, but who I am in relation to the world around me. My responsibilities are bigger, my role is changed, and my life will never be the same, nor as simple.

This new form of motherhood is significant- significantly difficult, significantly risky, and significantly challenging. It is worthy of initiation and test to begin. While I have not chosen this path lightly, the impact of not being ready to meet the challenge, of being held back in a previous form rather than embracing the strength of the new one, could damage or destroy everything I hold dear. These new horns, as I grow and display them, are the proof of my transition from old form to new.

May the goddess walk the sky beside you tonight, whatever your form and where ever your journey takes you. Brightest blessings!

I touched the beach again- the sand was like warm silk. A pilgrimage of sorts, to a cathedral of sun and moon. I worshiped- wholly and unabashedly in the sun, respectful and reserved in the waves. It was a holy place, a sacred place, and I gave myself completely to it- I allowed the dynamic of male and female power to fill me.

The waves would swell, crest with a kiss of the sun's glitter on the edge, and collapse in a froth- violent and overwhelmed- traveling to the shore propelled by the wave immediately following- the goddess in ecstasy, each orgasm brought to further fruition by the next- BEAUTIFUL.

I was honored and awed to see it, though it was not for me. All of those in worship, knowingly or not, were mere voyeurs to a cosmic love affair between god and goddess.

Blessed be, and embrace the passion of Spring!